Life as I know it has gone from non-eventful, simple, stable marriage, to a chaotic, disheveled crazy life, that seems to be in the dumpster half the time.
Now I NEVER imagined loving more than Brian, but I’ve opened up my life after his death to loving more than just Brian, but I’ve come to love another child of mine as well as her father, my lover. I’ve created and joined a new world. I have 2 girls that I am raising in this society we are in. It is especially important to raise them with strength, respect, and independence. They will know their worth and not expect anything less.
Enjoying my new world may be going to the beach every day of the week, or possibly trying a new gluten free restaurant, and MAYBE planting a garden. Whatever the case may be, I’ve survived a whole hell of a lot in my life, and I don’t intend to waste time. Brian’s death taught me not to hold on to hatred, or negative feelings. I wish I could take back anytime we argued over petty things that took up more time than I knew I had. When I feel frustrated or stuck, I move forward and revisit the issue when I’ve cleared my head. It’s not worth it guys…..its just not. Learn to enjoy the world you are in. Take advantage of the beauty that’s been given by god. He’s graced us with life, and we should be living it! During my struggles I’ve noticed a big difference between surviving, and living. Survival is trying to make it through the day. The happiness just isn’t there, and it’s more or surviving the hard times. Living is being on the other side of the hill. You’ve finally got a hold on your life, and it’s now time to take a look around and smile at the presence you’ve established.
Enjoy our world, for we are only here for a little while.